Hidden Behind A Fan
by Bullheaded
Summary: Sakura has a secret crush on someone she knows she can't have, Temari. But Kankuro wants to help will her feelings go a different way?
1. Reality

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...sorry...**

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How is it whatever I want the most is always forbidden? Temari. Shes the cause of all this. I've always felt a little...different. But I never noticed what it was, I did when I met HER. I kicked at the ground in frustration, what the hell was I going to do about this? I guess I could go talk to talk to Kankuro...he's good at stuf like this. Ok, so hes still a little freaked out I like his sister but he'll get over it...right? I reached into my shirt and pulled out the gold whistle, he special made it so only he could pick up on the sound frequency. One short blow and he'd show up in he was near by. "Hey" I jumped at the sound, damn hes fast. I turned around to face him, he'd lost the weirdo look and the kooky face paint, and decided to go modern. Turns out hes got quite a flair for fashion. "you need me?" He slung a black jacket over one shoulder and hooked one thumb in the pocket of his jeans. With this new look he was getting alot more attention from the girls. "uh yeah..." He cocked a grin, "Temari on the brain?" I blushed, he laughed "Its cool, been there, done that. Whats it this time?" Why the hell was he so easy about everything! This is complicated! I took a deep breath and brushed my pink hair out of my face. "I want to tell her." The easy going look was shaken off like scribbles off an etch-a-sketch "WHAT? dont you think its a little early for that? besides, she can barely remember your name!" I flinched, and he caught his mistake "Oh. Sorry." Yeah, I bet. She doesnt even remember me! "No, its ok. Your right...besides, she doesnt remember me right?" I turned away from him, trying to bite back the tears. Then there was a warm hand on my shoulder "Hey...it'll be alright. She'll come around" I didnt say anything. "Kankuro..." Both of us jumped at the sound this time, I looked around and spotted Gaara. He too had gone modern, but with a bit of a darker approach. His hair had grown out some and he now had it side swept over the tattoo on his forehead and brushing down over his eye, he was in a shirt that matched the color of his hair but he had taken something and written all over it, a black leather jacket was layered over the shirt. Tears and chains covered it, he was in jeans with the knees ripped out. And if I liked guys I would be tripping all over myself just like every other girl out there, Sasuke was way old news. "Gaara! how long have you been there?" "How long have you been here?" Kankuro quickly backed away from me, his brother had mellowed out some, but you still never knew what he'd do, or who he'd kill. Precautions are best around him. "a little bit. Whats wrong?" "Temari wants you" I coughed in suprise, Gaara turned his eyes on me and tapped his black nails on his jeans "something wrong?" "uh--No. just..a bug" He shrugged and turned back to his brother "lets go" Kankuro shot me a sympathetic look, then he mouthed out 'I'll tell you how it goes' and left with his brother, turning the head of every girl and some guys too, that they passed. I think I'm going to faint.

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Cool Water splashed over my face "breathe Sakura...your 18, shes older than you by a good 5 years. shes not intrested. There, see?" I broke out crying and sunk to the bathroom floor "god...I'm pitiful.." "No...your just confused" My head snapped up "Kankuro?" This was a suprise, he'd never been in my house before. "Yeah. I promised I'd tell you what happened remember?" I nodded and stood up, then motioned for him to follow me into the living room. I plopped onto the couch and he shifted back and fourth like he didnt nkow what to do with himself. "Well...Turns out she was seeing somebody" That crushed me like a rock, I didnt say anything though, but I think he knew. He always knows. Kankuro itched the back of his head "Then, they broke up with her and shes an emotional wreck" I sighed "Why did you come to tell me this?" "Because the person she was seeing...was another girl" My breath caught and I stared him straight in the eyes, he stared straight back. He wasnt kidding. "What?" "Yeah so...you kinda have a chance now. Since she likes girls and shes single..." He toed at the carpet and my face lit up like a 60 watt bulb. "Thank you Kankuro!" Before I knew what I was doing I had pulled him forward and kissed him full on the mouth "MHMPH?" He was muffled wide eyed against me and I led him back towards the wall. He pushed me off him "Whoa, I now your excited and all but if you keep going you wont know what your getting into. I'm a 'pervert' as you put it so nicely awhile back." I stumbled backwards a little dazed. I dont like guys. At least...I dont think. But there was definately a rush there. Maybe adrenaline. "Sorry..I didnt know what I was doing" "Its ok, but I gotta go" He walked over to the door, opened it, and let himself out "bye!" "later" I leaned against the wall "Holy. Shit."

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I sank down onto my bed, the alarm clock blared 4:33 a.m in big letters at me. I could finally get to sleep. CRASH. what the hell? I walked out into my living room and who else would be standing there? the youngest Kazekage inherit, Gaara. He dusted himself off and sat down on my couch like nothing had happened. "what are you doing in my house?" He looked at me, blinked once, picked up my T.V. remote turned on the T.V and started flipping channels "Kankuros on a mission" "So?" "I'm here" I sighed, he really wasnt a talker. Blunt much? He turned to a channel where two girls were making out, smirked, and set down the remote. He knew that'd piss me off, and that I couldnt help but look. "WHY?" "Because he cant come see you" "Ok, so your here why?" He grinned evilly "I'm moving in" Oh...Fuck. "wait! whoa, dont you have like, kazekage-ish duty thingamagiggers?" He shrugged "I can get back easily if needed" Oh, great. THATS what yuo want to hear in the middle of an emotional crisis. That a mentally unstable ultimate weapon screw around red head ninja is moving in to your house. Hm, red hair I wonder if his other hair is...? I coughed "so...what now?" I couldnt help but glance down at his pants and I tried like crazy to hide the blush but he must've guess the question. "If your wondering...yeah." "oh, um, ok. I'm gonna leave now" "good idea" I went into the kitchen and scrunched up my nose in digust, what kinda girl likes redheads? and what does the erd there look like? Ick. Gross. Not my thing. I bet it'd look better on a girl. Girls are prettier anyways, in every way, but blondes are nice. Blonde like...Temari. I hit the floor and banged my head against the cupboard, Gaara was there before you could blink. "I dont know hy your fussing like this, its nothing big" I looked up at him "this coming from the guy who kills for fun!" He grinned lopsidedly "hey, I quit that. ...mostly" Cha. Great. I feel safe. I perpared to bang my head against the cupboard a second time 'round but sand made contact w/ my face instead "I want a shower. Where?" Ok, its been like, 10 mins. and he wants to use my SHOWER! this dude has issues. "find it yourself" He glared at me and stalked off. I'm living with the pyscho whos the brother of my incredibly sexy crush. Oh joy.

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Yawn. I feel sunlight...no...I dont wanna wake up...I drifted back into slumber _"Sakura..." I looked around "yes? Who is it?" A room materialized, Temari was standing there, a short skirt on, shirt half open, and the buttons popping one by one...She walked over and dragged me close to her, giggling seductively, she leaned in barely a centimeter from my lips and dragged my hands to her breasts "Come play with me" She whispered, and..._ "SAKURA HARUNO!" Gaara yelled in my ear, I shot straight up in bed, the sheets were tangled around me, my nipples were sticking up, I was sweaty and panting. Another wet dream, I squirmed a little, emphisis on the 'wet' mm. I glanced over at Gaara, standing there arms crossed, nose scrunched, he looked like he was gonna barf. "What?" I said a little peeved at him. "You were moaning Temari's name and saying 'please fuck me' it was sick." Oh great, I was saying that? UGH! I cant get over her... "Get out of my room already Gaara!" I snapped, feeling more horrid than usual. "Ok, but I came to tell you Kankuro is coming back the day after Tomorrow" Yes! no more pyscho red head! "good, thats good" I said, he nodded once and left. Ok, so maybe things'll get better if Kankuro comes back. 


	2. Dreams

Ah, no dreams tonight, and I only have to put up with eye rings for one more day! I walked down the street, somewhat pleased with myself, but my thoughts drifted back to the dreams I had been having...all of Temari...My high soared back down to the ground and I dropped to my knees in the middle of the street. I was so overreacting but I really didnt care at the moment. "This is torture!" I shouted outloud to myself as I stood up and walked over to the nearest tree, to curl up in shame in the shade. "This isnt torture, you wanna know what torture is?" a voice sounded above me. God damn it Gaara, could you stop stalking me for six seconds. I sighed "no, amuse me" "torture is listening to Kankuro singing Christina Agulera songs in the shower when hes gargling" I shook with laughter, my face turning pinker than my hair. "No. Way! Kankuro?" I started laughing hysterically again. "Whats so funny?" A female voice suddenly called from my right, I froze instantly. That sounded like...like... "hey Temari" Gaara called from the tree, traitor. I looked up at Temari. She was taller, her hair was wavy around her shoulders now, her breasts were bigger...hips more curved...ahem. My gaze moved up to her face, which probably mirrored my own look of heart ache. Her eyes were swollen from crying, her mouth was curved into a frown, her shoulders slightly slumped. I tried to stand up but my knees were really shaky and I fell down again, only to be caught by Temari. "you didnt have to catch me like that I can fall down by myself, no! I mean, I can stand up to kiss you, no! um! thats not what I meant I--" she faced me with a look of amusment, ignoring how close I was pressed to her. Oh lordy, I'm spouting random nonsense. Cue save from Gaara in 3...2...1... I looked up, and no Gaara. shouldve known. Hes long gone. great. "I'm sorry Temari...umm...its just that your...well..." Her guard went up without warning "are you flirting with me Haruno?" She used my last name. I felt a stabbing pain in the vicinity of my heart. "um. No." She let go of me and I stumbled to her feet "good. dont." She said and walked off. I stood up and ran home, tears flying from my face. The minute I got there I fell straight onto my bed and cried myself into a deep, painfree sleep...

same night, Kankuro's POV

_Visions of sweet torture flicked by him...clothes tossed aside, two warm bodies pressed together...a swath of pink hair...a girls moan of pleasure. Sakura's naked body in full view, open and wet to him. He covered her body with his own and teased her senses, her legs locked around his waist "Kankuro!" she gasped and he rammed inside her. Over...and over...and over..._

_"_AH!" My eyes snapped open, I looked around, same forest. Same sleeping bag. The fire was dead. And the inside of my pants were sticky and cold. Great, more clothes to wash. "Where the hell had that dream come from?" A little voice snaked into my head _you love her._ "No, uh-uh. Not happening." I voiced outloud, as if to convince myself it wasnt true. "Shes les, and in love with my sister no less!" I turned over in my sleeping bag, away from the dying embers of the flames. "Sakura Haruno...sweeter than cherry blossoms..." My eyes drifted shut, my mind floating away on that last conscious thought.


	3. Rainy Days

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, only characters I make up. Plus this story is not mine, I'm only posting this for her.

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******3 days later**

We were sitting outside eating ice cream, Kankuro next to me, a look of sheer pleasure on his face as he finished off the cone. I giggled "whats so good about ice cream?" He looked at me like I was crazy for saying it "I only get a little maybe once every year" Ok, my turn to be shocked "WHAT?" He nodded "Yeah. For one Sunas too hot and two: I'm too busy. I never get the chance" I looked at the ground in thought, Silence between us "Hey Kankuro?" I said, gaze switching skyward. "Hmm?" He replied, staring upwards with me. "Do you think what people wish for depends on whether or not they get it?" He looked at me "Umm...what do you mean?" I sighed "Well, say...someone wished for happiness an--" "Well happiness is a relative term" He cut in, I shifted on my hands some "Thats what I'm saying. If someone wished for happiness would they get it? What about a cat? Say if someone wished for the cat They lost, they'd get it?" He thought for a second "I dont know. I guess it depends on whether or not what they wish for is good for that person" I looked at his face, he gets this crinkled kind of look when hes thinking. "I've known people who've wished for things that turned out really bad" I countered "Then maybe it depends on whether or not it will teach you a lesson" He paused, then continued "Maybe the person who wishes for happiness doesnt get it in the way they were asking because it wont change anything. And maybe the person who wishes for the cat back has it returned because it gives the person a greater sense and appreciation of loss and love" Another pause "and the cat They asked for will be cherished more" He finished. I thought about it "Hey Kankuro?" "Another wish question?" He teased and I smiled "No. How come your so smart? I mean, I'm pretty much an adult now and I see you and everybody else and you've all learned so much and..." Tears started to blur my vision "Here I am. Childish Sakura--" I sniffed "being her stupid self again!" I flung my arms outward and they plopped limply by my side again, crying overtaking me. He didnt answer, instead he silently and calmly pulled me up against his chest then wrapped one arm around my waist and one arm clasped my head to his shoulder. Storm clouds grumbled angrily about being woken from their nap, their gray eyes began to steadily drip tears. It was raining, pouring, actually. And it had started so suddenly. So there we sat, on a fence, with the sun setting and a storm coming fast and hard, Rain soaking everything... and I was crying. "I...I'm sorry Kankuro..I dont know why I'm bothering you with this...I dont know why I love Temari!" I started crying again. My emotions are way out of control. "Its alright. Feelings...Do funny things to people" And if I had looked up in that moment, I would have seen the wet drop slide down from his eye...and known it wasnt rain. But I hadnt, and I didnt, and still he held me close.

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I stayed around the corner in an alley way, watching the scene with my brother and Sakura, wondering what had made the Haruno girl so sad, and listened in on their conversation. "Here I am. Childish Sakura--" There was a pause 

"Being her stupid self again!" My eyes softened, she thought she was childish? No. Naiive maybe. Rain dampened my blond head, making my hair stick to my scalp, and still I watched. "I...I'm sorry Kankuro.." Sakura went on "I dont know why I'm bothering you with this.." I leaned in more "I dont know why I love Temari!" She wailed, and my breath caught in my throat, she...she loved me too? That was all I needed to hear, I jumped off, thinking about my next move. Oblivious to the fact that the sky isnt the only one with a storm brewing...

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**Is soooo sad!**


	4. Drunken Memories

I hummed to myself, the morning had started out great. I had hit Gaara with my fan, Kankuro didnt say a single word and I was asking out Sakura. Life couldnt get better, I grabbed my lip gloss dabbed some on, took one last mirror check and dashed out of the house. A little while later I was outside Sakuras apartment door, shaky kneed. I knocked and almost gave into the urge to run until I saw the suprised face of the Haruno girl. "hello" I said nervously, the door swung wide and she stood back "come in" She said and I stepped inside, surveying my surroundings, then went straight to the point. "Sakura?" I said, looking at her, she looked as nervous as I felt. "ye--yes Temari?" She asked, shifting on her legs. "Will you go out with me?" I blurted, she gasped and her head snapped up to mine, at first I thought she'd freak but a smile greeted my expected eyes "yes!" She said. I smiled in reply and grabbed her hand "great, lets go" I said urging her out the door.

"Kankuro!" Gaara banged on the door, "Kankuro its fuckin' 3 pm! get your ass outta bed!" He screamed and the door rattled "No! go away I'm naked!" I yelled in response, and really I wasnt lying, I am sitting nude in bed. The door rattled again "I couldnt give less of a damn! thats it. I'm coming in!" The door busted down and slammed to the floor, light flooded the room. I groaned and rolled over, my puffy tired eyes refusing to open. My head fucking hurt and my body ached. I felt the matress indent as Gaara sat down on it, there was silence a minute. "have you been drinking?" He asked, I flipped the blanket down to my waist and stretched "one or two" I replied evasively, "Kankuro, I count 19 bottles" he said, clearly angry "ok, so I have. What about it?" sand slithered up across my stomach and circled my neck, that ticked me "What the hells your problem!" I snapped at him, the pain splitting my head. "I'm concerned. Thats my problem." He snipped at me. I scoffed "since when have you felt anything for anyone?" Silence. "you'd be suprised" He sounded hurt. I sighed, I hadnt meant to hurt what was apparently his feelings. "Sorry..." I said, reproaching him. "no. Its alright. You just fucking wallow here the rest of your life like your the only one who loves somebody you cant have!" He yelled at me, got up and left. Leaving me in shocked silence, with a very curious question: Who the hell was Gaara after?


	5. Temari's Special Date

Temari led me down the street, almost at a run. "whats the hurry?" I asked, She smiled and looked at me, not slowing down at all "A club, it opens at 3 in the afternoon and goes on til' 2 the next day, just to restart all over again! its the only one like it anywhere and really hard to get into" I flushed, having never gone to a club before. "Right..that place. Heh" I said nervously. She nodded and skidded to a stop next to Naruto's favorite shop, Ichiraku Ramen. I really hope we dont run into him, thankfully, we didnt. But Temari ran straight into the shop, confusing me greatly. "Ayame!" She shouted, and the girl stepped out "yes? Can I help--oh! Temari!" Shesaid and enveloped her in a big hug. She was apperantly known here, and I was squirming with jealousy. "Ayame, we want into Time Warp, open the door please?" Ayame nodded "of course, follow me. And oh, Sakura! are you here with Temari?" I nodded nervously, confused about this whole thing. "Good, good, come with me!" She led us into a backroom stocked with random boxes of spices and such, some labeled things I had never even heard of, Ayame stopped and I nearly knocked into Temari, then pushed a back wall panel that slid straight open. Temari stepped into the shadowed opening then gestured for me to come, I stepped next to her and tried to see what was ahead of us but couldnt, Temari turned to Ayame "are you going down tonight?" She asked, Ayame shook her head no "I have work.." Temari nudged her shoulder, "thats alright, if you do, no gettin' jealous alright? I got a date tonight" Ayame giggled and nodded again "Hai. Temari-sama." They both laughed at some insiders joke, and I felt the urge to pull Temari away from her, but I didnt. They seemed like good friends, Ayame waved and the panel slid shut, leaving us in total blackness. I jumped and Temari sensed my panic "relax and go forward, I'll lead, grab my hand" She said to my left. I couldnt see but felt her warm hand brush by mine, I quickly clasped it and she tugged me onward. "Why did you call it time warp? and why are we going this way?" I asked, wanting conversation but feeling too nervous to bring up anything good. "Time Warp is a very special club, open only to nin. It derived its name from the different nin that work here, each including one of they're talents. The most famous is a nin known as Kazuhiro Kawashima, the time manipulator. It opens at 3 because it takes him an hour to focus, then from there, the time is warped and an hour could seem like 3 days or 3 days seem like a minute." I blinked slowly in shock, what an odd place we were going to. Wait, time manipulating? "You mean..like Itachi's Tsukyomi Sharingan?" She stopped for a second "What?" I shrugged to myself "Nothing, Gossip from Kakashi Sensei" "ok." We moved on "So...what about the other nin?" She laughed "They work! but they have to do something for the club. Which means take their jutsu and form a new one for the benifit of the club" That's amazing! I cant wait to see this club, but this tunnel seems to go on forever. "In fact..." She continued "I think I've seen that Hyuuga boy in here working security" I stifled my laughter with a hand. Neji? "Oh, really? anybody else?" I asked casually, trying not to laugh. "umm...Aburame Shino, working with fireflies on some nights for lighting -pretty cool actually- and...Kin-Tsuchi...Music, of course.." She paused in thought "I cant really remember anybody else" Finally I saw light up ahead of us, pulsing blue light, coming closer. We reached a room lit only by blue and there was an iron bar door on the other side. There on either side sat Inuzuka Kiba and Hyuuga Neji in the stylish black of club bouncers. "Hey Temari!" Kiba greeted, Neji made a small 'hm' sound in recognition.Kiba stood, Akamaru behind his chair, a great doberman beside him "Sorry, but you know the drill" He said and snapped, Akamaru and the creepy dog came forward and sniffed us out, once satisfied they sat, showing we seemed ok. Then Neji's turn "Byakugan!" His eyes scanned over us both, and I wondered what all he could see. His eyes changed back and he nodded to Kiba, who picked up a clip board and handed it to Temari, she signed her name and the time then handed it back. Neji picked up his own clip board and clicked a pen "What symbol tonight?" She though for a second, "umm...a heart" He looked at the clipboard then marked it down "not taken, good choice" Kiba moved forward again, making me feel completely awkward and a little angry that neither of them would talk to me. He painted a heart on her cheek, then on mine, not making eye contact with me though. Then stepped back "good to go girls" He said and Neji opened the gate with some jutsu. We came into a room pulsing with music and laughter, people danced and writhed together, while others sat at tables talking and drinking. Like she said, nin were using their powers to run the place. The bar tender knew levitation and was serving drinks that way. I saw fireflies everywhere which must have been Shinos work and there were numerous other things going on that was nin work. Temari led me towards the bar and ordered two drinks that I had never heard the names of before then led me to a table, where we sat together. She smiled at me "So, tell me about yourself" My stomach fluttered, this was going to be great!

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" 7, 13, 40, 666, Black. Purple. Green. Red. Rin Kanagaki" I repeated the password given and the cave wall slid open, Rin flipped down from the ceiling "What do you want Gaara?" I stepped inside "To talk" She dropped down and pushed me farther inside her strange and secret house "about Kankuro?" I nodded, taking my usual place on her gel chair. "how do I tell him?" She sighed "thats up to you. How do you think he'll take it?" "Bad. gross. Freaked out." I stated, knowing already. "Well, he is your brother. To find out you love him? Flattered probly. To find out you love him like that...? Yeah, I'd be a little flipped too" I growled "Your no help at all" She grinned evilly "no...I have a way to help.." I knew that smile, she was up to something. I cracked a grin too "Tell."

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3,328...3,329...3,330. "ok, there are 3, 330 little paper scraps on my floor, what now?" I voiced outloud to myself. Gaara, Temari, and Sakura have all been acting like maniacs and run to the far corners of god knows where, My friends have all gone missing, and I'm alone counting paper scraps like a love sick nerd. Which is also what I feel like. I got up, stretched, sighed, and grabbed the phone, my head didnt hurt as bad now, but I'm still lonely. I picked up the phone and dialed in the number, ringing...ringing...voice mail. "Hi you've reached Sakura, leave a message" BEEP. "hey...its me. Kankuro. Your not there so...whatever." I hit end call and flopped on the bed. Maybe I am in love with her, maybe I should tell her, maybe I should find her. Or maybe...not. First off, what the hells wrong with Gaara? Where'd Temari Disappear too? what am I gonna do? "man...my life sucks..." I said and sighed, falling asleep...Again. 


	6. The Truth Hurts

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story or Naruto, as you know, I wish I did...**

**Hollowasagourd: Hello! Writer of the story talking. My friend has been posting this for me but I really like reviews. So send them to her and they'll be forwarded to me ok? So..anyway. One more thing to say...GAARA IS THE SEXIEST DUDE IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE UNIVERSE! ...and Kankuro's kinda cute too.**

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OMG! Temari..is on a date, with me. Me. We had been talking and drinking and laughing most of the night and it had been really great. A few people we knew came over and said 'hi' every now and then. This place friggin' rocked. "So...you wanna dance?" She asked me and I all but dragged her onto the floor, the music was pumping, the people were hyped and I was...ok more than a little tipsy. We danced together, bodies rocking pressed close in time to the music, blue lights of the club enhancing the senses. We got closer, and closer, sliding and writhing with a no care attitude. And getting more than a few admiring views from the guys. My cheeks were flushed, and I was laughing, she leaned into my ear "any chance of you coming home with me?" She whispered seductively, hands sliding to my hips and sliding down, hooking her thumbs into my skirt. I almost whimpered "yes" I breathed out "theres a real good chance of that" A smile graced my face once more. "mm..great. So after--KAYOKO?" Her tone switched almost instantly to shocked, and she froze. I looked around for 'Kayoko' with her. "Temari..." a voice purred, rolling the R in Temari's name. My head snapped back behind me, a lanky full breasted brunette had her finely manicured claws digging into my dates arm. "Kayoko...what are you doing here?" She asked, the brunette Kayoko turned her eyes on me, fixing me into what could be called a predatory stare. "I should ask you the same question" She snipped, giving me the obvious impression she despised me. "I'm here on a date, this is Sakura, my gorgeous date and hopefully future girlfriend" Temari replied cooly. Good. "Well...maybe--" I didnt catch the rest, it was already hard enough talking over the music but that drowned it out. My heart hurt all over again. I waited to see if she'd come back over here, and she did. "So..about coming home with me..." I smiled, and we scrambled for the exit.

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"Thats all there is to it huh?" I asked, she nodded "Thats all there is to it" I pondered it, could work...could work..I stood up and stretched, cracked my neck, and gave her hand a quick squeeze. She led me to the door, well, if you could call it that. The cave wall slid open and the dead light of the stars blinked in the sky, it had been that long already? Well, time did always seem to stop around her. I fingered the cool vile in my pocket, preparing for what was to come, and walked home...To Kankuro.

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I rolled over in bed, I've probably slept half my life away. The world could have crashed down around me and I wouldnt have noticed. I got up, wincing as my neck crinked in pain from not moving. What time was it? I grabbed my alarm clock. 9 pm. Great...I flipped the light on and groped for pencil and paper while squinting from the brightness. Finding it, I threw it on my bed and plugged in my amp, I picked up my guitar and absent mindedly did a few warm up riffs. Ran over some chords, and poured my pain into the music. I paused, wrote lyrics, played some more. Lyrics, Guitar, Lyrics, Guitar. And in the end came out with a pretty cool song. I ran over the whole thing, singing it outloud.

_"You cant cut this into me, This is more than skin deep._

_If we cant see this fire, why is it burning me so?_

_Backed up in a corner, thoughts splintering my head_

_Screams inside my hearts loud enough to wake the dead." _

_"As the blows revive this sorrow_

_The grey spots cloud my eyes_

_Invisable to my pain_

_She walks along she walks along..."_

_"Bring me up from my grave of ice_

_Her hearts as numb as my mind_

_Why cant she see me here?_

_This pain is more than skin deep, you cant cut this into me"_

I dropped my guitar at the clapping from the doorway, Gaara was standing there. "That was...really deep" He said, walking into the room. "I guess" I shrugged off the compliment, not knowing if he meant it or not. "No. Really. Hey Kankuro? can you help me with something..?" He pulled a needle with purple neon liquid inside it out of his pocket, and stabbed it straight into my leg.


	7. Red Braclets

**Hey, sorry it took so long, my friend was being a butt hole and not writing a story chapter so I finally got her to so, here.**

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Oh god, that was _wonderful_. I turned over in Temari's fluffy bed to face her; she was tucked deep under the blankets and smiling in her sleep. I planted a kiss on her forehead, then her cheek, and a nibbled on her neck a bit to wake her up. Temari giggled a bit then shifted and stretched, one bare arm coming out from underneath the covers. 

"Hey Cutie…" She said with a smile and kissed my mouth. 

"Hey yourself sleepyhead," I replied playfully, snuggling myself closer to her body "good dreams?" 

"Yes" She said, and brushed back my hair 

"About what?" I asked 

She grinned impishly "About this" She said and rolled me under her. 

She kissed me and then down my neck, sliding her hands down my body. I moaned 

"Again?" I said breathlessly and hopefully 

"Again." She said and silenced me with a kiss. I'm in heaven. 

Apparently he didn't remember anything about what happened. Unfortunately, I did. I sighed sorrowfully and remembered what Rin had said to me before I left. '_The truth hurts Gaara, but learning it is for the best.' _I guess there was truth in that. I found out…he doesn't love me…I saw it coming, really, I did. But…damn, did it have to hurt this much? What had happened was this: 

_I stabbed the needle into his leg and drained the serum into him, them waited for it to take affect. When he started to look woozy I knew it was working. Time for questions._

_Best to start out simple so…_

_"Kankuro, were you with Sakura last week?" I questioned. _

_"Yes." He replied. Good. _

_Then, because I couldn't resist asking it: "Do you like Temari?"_

_"She's a brainless bitter cynical lesbo bitch that really needs a good lay." He said without hesitation. _

_I burst out laughing, I knew that in the first place but I hadn't expected those to be his words. It actually... made me laugh. But then again, Kankuro always did. Now, it was time for the big question…_

_"Ka-Kankuro, do—do you love me? As more than a brother?" I swallowed hard and waited for the answer. Silence…More silence…and finally_

_"No. I like you as a blood relative and a companion. Any thoughts of us otherwise makes me sick to my stomach" He said. _

_"Oh, ok." I felt tears welling up in my eyes. And I NEVER cried. That…hurts. I left Kankuro and the room to wait for the medicine to wear off and for the tears to stop pouring out of my traitorous eyes. _

My eyes squeezed shut in pain. That was over 9 hours ago, and it still hurt as though it just happened. I want the pain to stop…I need it to stop...I looked around my bleak barren room. There was nothing expect my bed, a chair, and a single lamp. I never needed much more than that but now it just made it worse. Suddenly my eyes caught something shiny on the floor; it was a blade, one of Rin's. Maybe I could cut? She always seems better after she does. I never stop her as long as she promises she wont go too far with it and I always monitor the cuts and scars. But, she looks so good afterwards…is that what does it? Does it take the pain away? The sand…it doesn't guard me so fiercely now, I can have pain inflicted upon myself so maybe, just maybe. I got up and gingerly took the blade into my hand; it was so small and shiny. It felt good. I put it to my wrist and pressed, I gasped when I felt the blade bite through the skin but I slid it across anyway. It felt like freedom, freedom to watch myself bleed, to be in control of the pain. It was great. But the bleeding was getting to be too much so I left my room and went down the hallway towards the bathroom holding my wrist all the while. I heard a moan coming from Temari's room. Oh fuck, was that the Haruno girl? Kankuro wasn't going to like that one (assuming he finds out) I had asked one last question before I left him alone 

_"Do you have feelings for Sakura Haruno?" I had asked_

_"Yes, I love her deeply" He replied. That was the part that was the real bitch._

I lingered one second longer then slipped into the bathroom. Then I turned on the faucet, grabbed a towel, and tended to my newfound wound. I felt better now. A sudden thought occurred to me: I have to go back to thank Rin.

* * *

**Your welcome...**


	8. Death By Blade

**Ashes: I have offically got the dumb author to get another chapter! But, sadly, it's really, really short... So, yeah enjoy! Don't kill me!**

* * *

I was running down the streets now, abnormally happy and breathless, going to go see her. She helped me so much, it was the least I could do.

"Gaara!" Kankuro yelled waving his arms in the air and running towards me from the direction of Rin's house.

"What do you want?" I asked when I caught up to him.

"Gaara…" He said in a low voice, something on his face told me something bad had happened. "I don't know how to tell you this man, but…"

Suddenly, I knew. And I really didn't want to know. It couldn't be true, it couldn't, and I wont let it! Kankuro must have seen the look on my face because he got this look of sympathy that made me sick. Everybody was going to be talking about it soon and we both knew it, Rin frequented the village often, she knew everybody. I wanted to throw up. They were going to talk about how she finally snapped, not about how brilliant her research was. They were going to talk about how rough it must have been, not how she turned herself around. Rin wouldn't have wanted it that way.

"No, no…." I shook my head slowly, side to side. An odd numbing sensation coming over me, spreading through everything, everywhere.

"Gaara, I—" He reached out to touch my shoulder.

I jerked back like it was fire, sand blasted Kankuro in the face and I took off at a dead run towards Rins home. This time, I was sad when I uttered the familiar password. This time, my stomach sank when the door slid open.

Everything was quiet. I didn't hear the bubble of fire under hot beakers or the hiss of steam from her latest work. It was all…Lifeless. Like Rin. I searched the house slowly, room by room, each turn making it harder and harder to breathe. I found her in the bedroom, sprawled out on the floor face down in a pool of her own blood. In one pale hand there was a slip of paper, I slowly walked over and retrieved it, careful not to disturb her body. I opened it up.

_Gaara, _

_I'm going to die. It wont be very much longer. I want you to know I'll be watching over you, alright? I…I love you Gaara. I have since we were little kids. But, things go wrong, people change. I want you to know…I'm ok. I'm not scared of this at all. Really, I've wanted to die for a very very long time. I'm at peace now, thinking of you. Goodbye Gaara, I'll miss you._

_With love,_

_Rin._

That was all it took to send me over the edge. Tears sprang from my eyes like a burst dam; my fists were clenched so tight I felt my palms start to bleed. I Dropped to my knees and picked up the limp body, clutching her close to my chest and rocking back and forth in pain. I didn't even know why I was doing it, I just wasn't… myself. I heard myself sobbing, gut wrenching sounds of pain I couldn't control as I felt the blood of my childhood friend stick to my clothes.

"Oh God...Rin…Why?" I asked the room, the silence, the reminder that I had lost something I didn't even know I held so precious.

But then, I felt it. A tiny flutter. She has a pulse, she has a pulse! I pulled her up closer and examined her body, still warm, blood fresh. Maybe there was still time to save her. Time to get her back.

I looked down at her as I raced to the hospital, "Rin…I'm going to save you. I promise." I said with conviction. There's still time…I hope.


	9. Slow Recovery

**Disclaimer- Jeez, do we really need to go over this? I dont own any of this crap...except for the plotline...and your mom... **

* * *

She looked so pale, laid out fragilly on the hospital bed, breathing slow and shallow. But alive. She was going to be ok. The thought twisted something inside me, something I hadn't bothered to explore before. Rin had been there, through the same Hells and trials I had, she'd been the only one to listen to me, my confusion, my pain. Even, even when I hurt her...when I couldnt control myself...She forgave me. On impulse, I laid my hand on her warm cheek and brushed my thumb across her mouth. She has such sweet skin. I found myself leaning down and pressing my lips to her temple, just to feel her, to know shes alive.

"Gaara...?"

Rin stirred beneath me, she tilted her head up to see my face and our lips met. I cradled her head and pulled the softness of her body closer to me, shes alive. Thank the God that has never answered me before, thank him for answering now. It will take time, but she'll heal. Hopefully...both of us will.

* * *

My entire life, my siblings have stolen everything from me. I was beat for them, I took responsibilty for them, I watched out for them, and provided for them. I was forced to respect my older sister and fear my younger brother, forced to do acts I never wanted to, missions and assignments I would never take of my own free will. This was just one more thing for them to take away from me. Temari has stolen Sakura, The sweet rosette haired medic nin who I've loved for years now. And Gaara, Gaara is making me feel...confused. This is very shaky ground, and its about to get shakier. I pulled out a kunai and broke the seal on my summons, another mission. A rank. They were sending me in special force...Good. This was my chance to get away from my siblings, my limited stay in Konohagakure, and my own thoughts. I tucked the summons into my shirt and set off, determined to make someone pay for my pain, to find release in a fight. To get away from love...and all the hurt that comes with it. This will be my healing...

* * *

Theres something about the female form, that makes it beautiful above all others. Maybe its the glowing creamy expanses of skin, the soft rounded curves of the body, the full weight of her breasts, the slim column of her neck. Her full lips, engaging eyes. Every woman on earth has had the power to enchant, beguile, seduce, with her form. But, I think its the soul, a womans compassion and endurance, her ability to weather tragedies and extremeties. Her ability to love, to give. Sakura Haruno has certainly proven they have that ability. I ran my hand down the silky skin of her stomach to tangle my hand in the thatch of curls between her thighs. She gasped, and arched her body against my hand. I smiled, thinking how nice it would be to have this every day... 

"Sakura...?" I asked, flicking my index finger lightly over her clitoris "What would you think, of maybe making this permanent?"

She stopped moving beneath me "Temari, are you sure your ready to take it that far this soon?"

My eyes met hers "I dont know. But, I'd be willing to take the chance...For you."

And I would. I'd never thought of sharing my life for more than a few months with any other woman, with the exception of one, and now two. Sakura Haruno...Even her name warms me. Maybe we can heal each other. Maybe...


	10. Coming Together

**DISCLAIMER- alright you Narutards...you know the drill already, and I'm not gonna repeat it! ...Alright, maybe once. I do not own Naruto or any of its chartacters, Got it memorized? Good. **

* * *

Fate is a cruel, cruel thing. Temari had brought up the idea of a serious relationship, right before a two week mission, that I would be going on...with Naruto. Sighing, I pushed my breakfast away from me, deciding to watch Temari eat instead. It was so strange, this simple act holds an intimacy to it, eating with someone you love... Temari looked up at me, and raised an eyebrow 

"Something wrong?"

I looked away from her "No, nothing is. Its just..." I opted for a topic change "Wheres Kankuro?"

Temari's brow crinkled into a frown "You know, I'm not really sure...but he'll surface eventually, he always does."

And she was right on that one, no matter what Kankuro always seemed to show up, whether it was convienient or not. That made me smile, he was always such a goof about things, making me laugh. It wouldnt be right to dive into this without him here, I'm sure he wouldnt want to come back and find out his sister might be spending alot more of her time in Konoha...

"Temari? Maybe we should wait on this...I have a mission coming up, it will give me time to think things over." My stomach lurched as she sat in silence thinking.

Finally, she answered "Alright, but in two weeks, I expect an answer, okay?" she winked at me

I smiled at her " 'kay."

* * *

I kissed her, I cant believe I kissed her. Rin was...a casual aqquaintance. A friend, at most. And I...I kissed her. Oddly, it had felt good to do it too. Jesus Christ, what the hell has gotten into me? And on top of this, I have to get back to Suna, to sign papers for an allience mission. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I ran a hand through my hair and walked up to the receptions desk. 

"Excuse me, when is the patient in room 206 due to be released?"

The amber eyed nurse looked a little startled to see me, but flipped through her papers to get me the information I wanted "Lets see...Ah, Rin, shes made a full recovery and can be taken home at any time."

I nodded "Good, then I'd like to escort her."

Again, shock crossed her features briefly, but she complied "Of course, I'll have it arranged immediately."

"No need, she'll be coming home with me." God only knows where the words had come from, but I couldnt take them back now. I would be returning home to Suna, ...With Rin.

* * *

Damn, no one told me I'd have to wait for my brother to get here before I left for my mission. He still freaks me out a bit...especially after what happened. 

_"Ka-Kankuro, do--do you love me? As more than a brother?"_

That was a hell of a question to have to answer. I had fought off most of whatever drug he had given me when he asked it, and managed to bend the truth some. Honestly, I didnt know. Gaara has always made me feel. At first it was angry, then afraid, then sad, and now I'm happy hes finally come to a sort of truce with himself. But, I'm not sure if I love him. I do know who I love though, I love Sakura. And she'll never love me back, she loves my sister. Damn. So now facing Gaara would be at best...extremely uncomfortable. At worst...well, I'd really rather not think about that. I heard the door open, which startled me more than it should have because my brother has really never been much of a 'door' person. Doors mean knocking, knocking means being polite, and polite and Gaara dont quite go together. But there he was, still in his travelling outfit, with Rin at his side. Wait, Rin? Oh god, hadnt she been...?

"Kankuro, your the ninja to be sent out on the allience mission?" Gaara looked at me surprised.

I scratched my head, uncomfortable in this room with him, and the girl I thought was dead "Uh, yeah, I guess." Smooth. Very smooth.

"Well then, lets get through your briefing quickly."

Great. In fact, sooner the better. But, who the hell was I supposed to be 'allies' with? Fuck, our villiage changes loyalties faster than a supermodel changes outfits. Spineless bastards. I sat down in one chair facing his desk and leaned back.

"Cool, I'm ready to roll."

Fuck, might as well be.


	11. Confession

**DISCLAIMER- Alright, at this point I'm sure your use to the disclaimer so lets just get right to the story eh? Oh, speaking of stories, if you'd like, read my other work in progress Emotions in The Fineprint -cough-please-cough- On with the story!!**

* * *

Damn. I'm stuck with Sakura, who I know for a fact has been sleeping with Temari; and Naruto who...Ok, I just dont get along with him. We might've hit it off in some parallel universe, had it not been for the Chunin Exams. Great. 

"Are you prepared, Kankuro...?"

My attention snapped back at my brothers words "Huh, oh yeah. Um, sure, yeah I'm ready." Eh, at least it wasnt a total lie, I could be ready in a few minutes.

"Good, then please be on your way."

He was careful not to look me in the eye, I noticed. My stomach twisted. It isnt Gaara's fault he's...Well, I'm not exactly sure what he is but it can't be his fault right? Plus, he's got Rin, that'll make him straight. Hopefully. I sighed and stood up, stretching wearily.

"Later Gaara, Rin." I waved them off as I walked out the door to pack my gear for the mission, I learned very young as a ninja you need to say goodbye to those you know everytime you leave. Especially since you might not be back to say 'Hello' the next day. Now, it's off to face Sakura, and my impending doom. I hate my luck.

* * *

"So when's the other nin going to get here?" 

I shook my head at Naruto's impatience, the one thing he'd never grow out of. It's somewhat comforting to know slapping a few years and more responsbilities onto him hasnt changed his personality much.

"Why, you want to see if he's cute?" I teased, sending him a smile.

Naruto smiled bitterly, his mood instantly deflated "No, I dont want to see if he's cute."

I flinched at the visible change in him. Even if his duties hadn't changed him, Sasuke certainly had. Naruto is still sensitive about it, as often as I try to get him to date.

"Hey Sakura, do you think--" Naruto paused mid sentence and reached into his weapons pouch, turning around as he did so "YOU!"

Kankuro grinned at the blonde "Yeah, nice to see you too."

* * *

I wonder what my brother must've thought of me barging in with Rin to announce his latest mission. I couldn't even look him in the eye. I am a coward but...Kankuro does strange things to my insides. The same things that Rin does. I had almost snapped, I would have if she had actually died. I stole a glance over to where she's sitting on my desk, running her hands idly over random scrolls. 

She looked up when she felt my stare on her "Need something?"

"Uh, no. I just...spaced out." I lied, looking away from her.

"Spaced out huh? Thats not like you. In fact, this past month you havent been like you," She stood up and walked over placing a hand gently on my shoulder "Gaara, are you okay?"

I tensed, and pushed her hand away "No, I'm not. You...you're the one acting strange. It's scaring me."

She sighed and sat down in a chair "So, you found the note huh? I'm sorry. I honestly didnt think I was going to live, I didnt mean for you to have to see me after knowing my feelings. I thought I was gone for good. I'm sorry...I..." Her hands curled into fists "I know I disgust you."

I sucked in a breath in shock. What, how could she possibly think that? She doesnt disgust me at all. I know pain, and so does she but I couldnt be the only reason she wanted to die...could I?

"I know my scars are something...you never liked. You dont like me."

"Rin," I said sharply, cutting her off "You know thats not true. But, can I ask you...what made you do it, besides me?"

She was quiet for a moment, and then she lifted her head to let her green gaze meet mine "Well, the truth is, something happened to me."

What? But she stayed in the cave for safety, someone couldnt have gotten to her...right?

"Gaara," She whispered quietly "I was raped."

* * *


	12. Anger

**DISCLAIMER- Because I was asked so nicely to update ASAP, I've decided to do another chapter for you all! So, here it is. **

* * *

Wow, the blonde hasnt changed much I see. Still hates me, that much is evident. Ah well, it cant be helped since I'll be stuck with him. 

"_You'r_e the nin they sent in for this mission? Forget this, you'll just be dead weight. Special Ops, ha!" Naruto crossed his arms and turned his nose up like a petualant 6 year old would.

I sighed and turned away from him, and accidentally made eye contact with Sakura. My breath hitched in my throat for a moment, but I managed to conceal it. C'mon Kankuro, say something cool. Something suave that will catch her attention...

"Hi." Smooth, very smooth.

"Hey," She smiled weakly at me "Guess we're going to be stuck together for awhile huh?"

"Yeah, I guess." I swallowed and put my hands in my pockets, turning away from her. An awkward silence followed us out of the village, not even Naruto would open his big trap.

"Kankuro, Naruto, do you feel that?" Sakura asked, stopping to listen.

"Yeah, I do." Since we left its felt like someone was tailing us, but why follow this entire way without confrontation? Maybe they've set a trap, and they're just making sure we fall into it.

"Hey, who do you think it is I--"

"Naruto," I cut in "Shut up."

He glared at me "Fine but if we get attacked--"

"SSHH!"

We stopped, and got into a formation that could best take an ambush from different angles. I dont get this person, whoever they are. Do they know we sense them, or do they still believe they have the element of surprise?

"Sakura, Naruto, we're going to try and loose them. Dont leave any tracks, and follow me."

Now we're going to see what this person really wants.

* * *

Stupid Kankuro. I was fine with Sakura's mission until I found out she would be going with _him_. Its obvious he likes her! But no way I'm going to let him try anything stupid. 

"Sakura, Naruto, we're going to try and loose them. Dont leave any tracks, and follow me."

I smirked at his words, he was always trying to take charge, ever since we were kids.

I think I'll just spook him, and then try and switch him out with myself so I can spend this time with Sakura.

"C'mon little brother," I whispered "Lets see how smart you really are."

* * *

I felt horrible anger welling up in me at her words, sick twisted anger that I hadn't felt in a long time. Who would dare defile her? It's impossible for me to think about. 

"Rin," I said carefully, slowly "Who did it?"

She crossed her arms across her chest and closed her legs together, locking her ankles.

"Rin...?"

"I dont know," She whispered "I really dont know."

Damn, damn it all. I'm going to hunt them down, find them out.

"Gaara, how do you think they got past my security?" She looked up at me expectantly, needing answers I couldn't give her.

"I dont know. The question I'm still asking myself is: why would they want to?"

Her eyes went dark "I have a pretty good idea why, but I need to be sure."

I placed a hand on her shoulder "Dont worry Rin, I'll find them."

And when I do, there will be hell to pay.

* * *

**Sorry about the shortness of deh chapter, I'm on a work overload and I cant write much...But I'll write more soon!!!**


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